Man can only suck at the teat of the alternative udder for so long. Soon he tires of discovery and retreats into the familiar. Even Ranulph Fiennes probably has a day when all he really fancies is a cup of tea and a day in front of Sky Sports News.
And so it was that I blew the metaphorical dust off my metaphorically pristine McFly back catalogue. I honestly can’t understand why people dislike McFly so much. Even Girls Aloud have attained a modicum of critical acclaim. McFly, on the other hand, write their own songs, produce their own albums and choose their own musical directions. The next of these is rumoured to be a collaboration with Taio Cruz for their next album.
It’s one of those that could really go either way. But as long as he tinkers at the edges rather than incites insurrection, me and Taio are going to get along fine. Fuck with the classic formula, though, dickwad, and rest assured I will personally break break your heart. With scissors.
These are my ten favourite McFly songs of all time, in reverse order. This isn’t going to be funny, just reverential, so regular readers who don’t like McFly might like to piss off for a bit.
10. Five Colours In Her Hair (2004)
From back when they were still learning their trade. It’s not perfect, but it’s still very, very good. All of a sudden McFly appeared to offer what Busted had promised but failed to be – a British pop band, writing British songs. In taking 1965 rather than 1995 as their musical Year Zero, they were attempting a trick that only Supergrass have ever really pulled off in the last two decades – raiding an unfashionable decade for inspiration. The first and last 20 seconds of ‘Five Colours In Her Hair’ belong in the annals of British pop intro and outro history. If these annals don’t exist, never mind.
Trivia: The song was written in honour of Emily Corrie, who played Sooz in Channel 4 show As If. What became of her, you ask? Well, this.
9. Too Close For Comfort (2005)
A track from the Wonderland album, which is going to feature quite strongly in the forthcoming list. What this song proves is that McFly – and specifically, Tom Fletcher – are at their best when they’re just trying to be nice. I appreciate that every album or so they feel the need to let off some steam with some pathetic Matrix-written punk-rock mumbo-jumbo (see ‘Friday Night’, ‘Corrupted’), but there’s really no need. (Also, as a note to the boys – when you sing the word ’shit’, it just sounds a bit strange.)
It’s a clever, clever song, craftily magpie-ing bits from the modern rock canon. Those opening chords? That’s The Libertines right there. After that? It segues into Jeff Buckley. The chorus? Well, it’s pure McFly. All smoothed into one edifying whole. It says something about McFly’s prolific output at the height of their creative powers that this wasn’t even deemed worthy of a single release. Olly Murs’ people could do a lot worse than dragging this little gem out of the archives.
8. Little Joanna (2006)
Another album track, but where ‘Too Close For Comfort’ was earnest and soul-baring, this is just pleasantly loopy. “Little Joanna’s like a laser beam sky/Gluteus maximus like a firefly” is one memorable rhyming couplet, and you think: these are kids, just out of school, who appear in interviews to be allergic to any word of more than two syllables. How could this possibly come out of their puny, one-track brains? And then it hits you. Drugs. So, more of that, please.
Agh, I’m tired. I’ll add the rest later.

Pour nos cousins americains
25 01 2010I’m going to have to admit that if you don’t know who Keith Olbermann is, this will probably be lost on you. If you do, you will gain maximum value, sir. (In the interests of full disclosure: I am Keith Olbermann.)
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